


We're On Top (who knew it'd be so ugly?)

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: (but it happened in the past), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complete, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Second Year Twins, Takes place during !!, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23743417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: A 2wink live gone wrong after Crazy:B invades the stage and calls all local media attention onto themselves. Sure, this isn't the first time they've trashed another unit's live, nor is it the first time that they've shown video and audio recordings in order to deface other units. But that doesn't make it any less shocking when a video of a certain rooftop scene from months ago plays on the big screen for all to see.
Relationships: Aoi Hinata & Aoi Yuuta
Comments: 17
Kudos: 72
Collections: 2wink





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if you're checking back on this fic looking for an update, i just want to say it is completed!! [here](https://privatter.net/p/6253068) is an explanation of some common questions/plot points. (dont read if u havent read the fic yet!!!) and here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA) where you can ask any other questions!

[ **Ran-senpai** 9:24am]  _ He’s still sleeping and I have to go to a meeting, but Hakaze said he could stay in the room with him. _

The text was the only notification Yuuta would let himself read, ignoring the endless stream of ones coming from fans on social media and the texts from classmates at Yumenosaki. His phone had never received so many notifications before, and the heat of it was similar to how the old device was whenever he tried to play a game with the graphics set too high. 

He worried his lip and reasoned with himself that 9:30 was hardly that late of a time, and considering that his brother probably hadn’t gotten any sleep either it was okay that Hinata hadn’t woken up yet.

Honestly, it was probably for the best that he was still asleep, lest he have to deal with this mess.

“Is that Hinata-kun?”

“No, he’s still asleep. Ran-senpai has to go so Hakaze-senpai is gonna watch him now.” 

Rei set a hand on Yuuta’s arm, a comforting gesture no doubt, but Rei forgot his poor circulation made his fingers feel like ice. Not that it mattered; Yuuta’s whole body felt numb right now. “Kaoru-kun is kind. He will take good care of Hinata-kun when he awakes. For now, we-”

“I know! God, I know. I have to do all this stupid media stuff and it’s-” Yuuta’s head fell to his hands and he forced himself to sigh and catch his breath before there was a chance for tears to creep up. “I’m sorry, Sakuma-senpai. I didn’t mean to snap.”

“It’s okay. This is a stressful time. I will help you in any way that I can, since this whole debacle can in part be blamed on my previous actions. We will tidy this up, my child.” Rei pat Yuuta’s arm, a restrained movement for someone who held Yuuta’s crying body for most hours of the night before, but maybe it was because there were other people in the room that Rei deigned it necessary he act professional.

Deep breaths. In… Out… In… Out… 

Blink once, twice. 

One final exhale, and Yuuta dropped his hands from his face and raised his head.

“How are we going to fix this? We can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, that will make everything worse, won’t it? And I don’t think Aniki can talk about it to anyone. Definitely not the press.” Yuuta watched the managers across the table. Buttoned up suits, well-done hair and makeup, and they looked more the part of perfection that Yuuta could ever hope to obtain as an idol.

Their pristine, polished looks didn’t mean everything though. They had yet to say one word of comfort to Yuuta, instead focusing on how to contain the fallout for Cosmic Productions, for Ensemble Square, for Yumenosaki. Not an ounce of concern for 2wink itself.

But what else is new.

“You’re sure there’s no way that Hinata-kun can talk to a reporter, one-on-one would be just fine, and explain that he was goofing off, or maybe that it was a dare? We can’t have fans worrying about something like an idol suicide,” said a man sitting on the far left of the group. Yuuta didn’t care what his name was, and with the way the man kept checking his watch, Yuuta didn’t care about the time he was wasting either.

Really, the only thing Yuuta cared about was his brother. He should be with him right now, not left with Nagisa or Kaoru, who weren’t even his roommates. No, Yuuta should be right by Hinata’s side ever since he ran off stage last night and fell into a shell-shocked state. He should be talking to Hinata and comforting him, since he seemed to be the only one who cared about him in this damn place.

Before Yuuta could raise his voice and start yelling at the soulless managers, Rei sat up taller in his seat and spoke up, “it will not be possible for Hinata-kun, a 16 year old child, to confront the vultures of the media about this. Using him to create excuses and pacify the fans will not work.”

“Kid or not, he’s an idol, an employee of Ensemble Square now. He’s going to have to do whatever we need him to, even if it's Amagi's fault this is all happening. This is a trainwreck for Cosmic Productions, and quite frankly if it weren’t for Eden’s presence, that agency would be in ruins by now.” The man crossed his arms and glared at Rei. Yuuta felt his blood boil and he bit his lip to keep from shouting in outrage, because as much as he wanted to scream and cry, he had to keep it together and show an ounce of professionalism.

Rei’s phone pinged with a loud, rhythmic beeping noise on the table, cutting through the tension of the room and making everyone pause and fall silent to look at it.

“My apologies, I thought I turned my ringer off.” Rei picked up his phone and fumbled with the buttons to turn it off, but paused as he looked at the illuminated screen. “Oh dear.”

Yuuta’s heart missed a beat and he forced himself to swallow his anxieties down; he never knew that two words could make his blood run so cold. “What’s ‘oh dear’? Why? Did something happen?”

Rei stood up from the table. “Kaoru-kun messaged me saying that for a brief moment he stepped out of the room to go to the bathroom and when he came back, Hinata-kun was no longer there.”

Every worry, every fear came crawling out of Yuuta's infested mind, and with each breath he took it was like it was shorter and shorter than the last. There was no way this could be happening again right? Hinata has always been a runner, he always hated having people look after him, so he ran because of that. He wasn’t- there was no way he was going to do anything drastic again. Right?

Right?!

He was out of his chair before he realized his feet were moving. Every second he spent in this stifling room was another second he didn’t know where Hinata was. Yuuta was leaving  _ now _ and no one was going to force him to stay.

Except when the door opened with a slam, and Hinata stood panting in the doorway.

“Yuuta-kun!”

Yuuta’s feet were frozen to the ground, and even as relief washed over him, the tension that held itself in Yuuta’s shoulders remained, and his skin still felt unbelievably cold. 

The last he’d seen Hinata, he was off in his own world, offering no reaction to Yuuta’s poking and prodding whatsoever. How else could he expect his brother to react to his past being forcibly brought up like that though? And it had also been hours since then, Yuuta separated from him and dragged away from the public before the press got a hold on him, and sent into the clutches of these managers, less than happy to be called in to work in the middle of the night.

The Hinata of last night was a mess. The Hinata that now was walking into the room and taking a seat on the other side of Rei was  _ visibly _ okay.

And God if that didn’t terrify Yuuta.

“Hello~Hello~! Sorry that I’m late. I didn’t even know there was a meeting!” Hinata laughed, the sound piercing through the silent room and the strain of it made Yuuta wince. Hinata glanced over at Yuuta. “Thanks for saving my place, Yuuta-kun, but I’m here now, so you can go! Let big bro take care of all this boring business stuff."

The burning rage in Yuuta’s chest turned into a burning sting behind his eyes, and it took everything in him not to start sobbing. Hinata’s words cut him like a knife. Left bleeding over and over again, Yuuta thought they were past this runaround of Hinata hiding his feelings and hurting Yuuta in the process. He wanted them to be past this, but with the way Yuuta’s insides felt like they were being stabbed and twisted, it was clear Hinata had no intention of being transparent with him.

“I’m staying here. This is 2wink business, Aniki.” Yuuta hated the waver in his voice, but hoped that by returning to his seat that Hinata would tell he wasn’t messing around and would stay no matter what.

Hinata’s mouth opened and a protest sat on the tip of his tongue, but Rei clapped his hands together and brought attention back to the table and the situation at hand.

“We’re all here now, so let’s discuss our options.”

The center manager, an older woman whose laugh lines were hidden under layers of makeup, spoke in lieu of her companions' silence. “Yes. Since Hinata-kun is here to speak for himself now, we’ll go ahead and propose our original plan.”

Hinata nodded and sat in a silence that betrayed the restlessness of his body. Yuuta watched as his leg jumped up and down, his fingers fiddled with each other in his laps, all while his face remained impassive, unbothered by the cruel plot.

Yuuta prided himself on being able to tell what Hinata was thinking, but he didn’t have the slightest clue what thoughts were in his brain right now, and that fact weighed on Yuuta like a ton of bricks.

When the explanation finished, Hinata looked thoughtful for a moment with the perk of his eyebrows, but the moment he opened his mouth, Yuuta’s entire world shattered.

“Wouldn’t it be better to let people see it for what it is? Why should I try and deny it?” Hinata leaned across the table, orange hair loosening from the pink hair clip and falling into his face. “Surely there would be lots more publicity if I stuck with it! 2wink would get super popular, right~?”

Yuuta opened his mouth to speak, but found that his mind could not produce any sort of words to encapsulate this twisted feeling. This had to be a nightmare. The Hinata sitting in this room, smiling and laughing like a child who received candy, was a demon crawling out Yuuta’s dreams and making reality a living hell. The nausea building in his stomach and making Yuuta repress a gag was because this was a bad dream. Just like when he was a kid, he’d wake up and Hinata would be at his bedside comforting him. 

“Like, all publicity is good publicity. That saying is true isn’t it?”

“Hinata-kun, do you realize what you’re saying?” Rei’s voice was even, but Yuuta saw how his hands clenched each other in his lap under the table.

Hinata glanced at Rei, and the innocent raise of his eyebrows betrayed the awful words he was saying. “Yes~? Amagi-senpai has put it out there without anyone's say so, I’m saying that I’ll go and be honest about it and take advantage of the situation."

“What the  _ hell  _ is wrong with you?” Yuuta stood up from the table so fast his chair fell over behind him with an inconsequential slam to the ground. “Hinata-kun what the- You’re-  _ Why?! _ ”

Hinata won’t meet his eyes.

“It’s okay. I’m okay with this. Really~! This is the best case possible!” Hinata’s voice rose, and he ignored Yuuta’s protest and remained pleading with the managers. “See, it’s in the best interest of 2wink that we just roll with this! We’ll set up interviews now and I can be prepared within the hour to go on air and talk about it! A quick and easy solution I’ve just proposed, so let’s go with it, ~kay?”

" _ Kay?! Kay! _ ” Yuuta hates raising his voice but he can’t help it because it’s either he gets pissed off and shouts or he’ll be completely stifled by the tears that so badly wanted to push through his eyes.

Rei stands up next to him, putting a hand on Yuuta’s shoulder and giving him a stern look that Yuuta feels should be directed toward the thing wearing his brother’s skin, but clenches his jaw and shuts his mouth anyways.

But with his shut mouth, Yuuta can’t scream his anger, and now he feels his face burning and a hot tear fall down his cheek. He rubs as his eyes like he’s trying to scrub out a stain. Maybe if he pushes hard enough, his eyes will fix themselves and it will be okay again. 

“Yuuta-kun, you should go.”

Yuuta doesn’t open his eyes yet. That thing is still there.

“Please, let me take care of this. I can fix everything.”

**_In order for us to be happy, one of us had to become a sacrifice_ ** **.**

  
  


The words are like- no, they completely and 100% are- a death sentence, and the sudden intrusive memory of them sends Yuuta into a haze.

Rei’s guiding him out of the room. Yuuta can feel his senior pulling his arm and making his feet move to leave. He doesn’t want to leave, but it looks once again decisions are being made for him and the fight has already left his body. Everything has left his body. Yuuta isn’t even quite sure he’s breathing still, and everything his eyes should be seeing are unfocused and far away.

Yuuta feels like he’s walking on air, his feet step up and down bringing in a movement he knows makes his body move forward, but Yuuta is trapped in his mind. 

He’s on the rooftop again. A sky painted orange in respect of the sun hanging low in the sky that still had the strength to cast long shadows across the ground. The shadows of the rooftop fence is what Yuuta sees at his feet now, and when he looks up, there’s his brother. Though his memory serves that Hinata sat on the fence, he never is when Yuuta revisits this place. He’s walked along it like a tightrope, he’s done handstands and backflips; he does anything to tease the fall. It shouldn’t scare Yuuta, because his brain tells him that this event happened in the past and Hinata is still alive, but in contradiction his brain continues to bring him back here. 

Because no matter how many times Yuuta tells himself that he and Hinata have worked past this, the callous truth was that neither of them were fixed. 

When Yuuta looks at the Hinata of his nightmares, he understands how people, their father, called them creepy. This monster does not blink, his eyes are frozen round and wide, and even when he is turned around, Yuuta still feels the deep green eyes piercing him. His smile is always wide like he’s smiling for a school picture, but the smile is for Yuuta alone. 

He never talks though.

Hinata plays his games on the fence for his audience of one, and after what feels like forever in hell, Yuuta is released when Hinata falls.

Sometimes it feels shorter, because Hinata will begin a dance and soon after the first step he stumbles and falls off the side. Other times, it feels like Hinata is walking along for miles, no corners to turn and no ends of the fence. Walking on feet, hands. It’s as soon as Yuuta feels like he will never fall, when the fear dissipates for a single moment, that’s when he slips off.

Yuuta has seen this scene over and over, but only ever playing out while he is asleep. Now, reality seems to have struck too close to this nightmare within Yuuta and it's been given permission to encroach on him during the day.

This time the thing is standing still on top of the fence, and an imaginary wind is blowing its hair in front of its face, yet still doing a poor job of obscuring those prying eyes. It’s mouth something, words that die in the air and never reach Yuuta, but he knows it’s the same word over and over.

_ Goodbye. _

_ Goodbye. _

_ Goodbye. _

Yuuta wants to scream and tell it to shut up, but the moment he opens his mouth to do so, the monster falls backwards off the roof, arms stretched out as if Yuuta had the ability to move and go save him. Instead, all he can do is watch and once the figure disappears over the edge, Yuuta finds himself back in his dorm room sitting on his bed.

Rei and Kaoru stand in front of him, both wearing frowns on their faces that aren’t hidden fast enough when Yuuta opens his eyes.

Wiping his sweaty palms off on his bed sheets, Yuuta catches his breath and tries to calm his panicked heart. Just a dream. No reason to get so worked up over it.

“Is Aniki here?” Yuuta looks at Rei while he asks; he knows Rei was the one to walk him out of the room.

Rei meets his eyes with a gentle smile. “No. That child is still in the meeting with the executives.”

“What are you doing there then?” Yuuta’s voice is sharp, and his eyebrows narrow. “It pisses me off, but I’m used to Aniki keeping me out of things. You should still be in there. You call us your children so much, so go and take care of him!”

“Yuuta-kun,” Kaoru speaks up. “Don’t be so harsh. This isn’t a simple situation.”

“It’s pretty damn simple. Aniki is being stupid. He won’t let me do anything, but Sakuma-senpai is his senior and he’s also respected around here isn’t he? The managers will listen to him over us.”

Rei sighed, and raised a hand to quiet the two boys. “I apologize. While I do hold a certain level of influence, Hinata-kun is still the leader of 2wink and he will have the ability to override any idea that I propose. And unfortunately, he already has a plan of action that I cannot dissuade him from.”

“He shouldn’t have to do this alone.” Yuuta pulls his knees up to his chest, and the bed dips down next to him as Kaoru sits down and puts a hand on Yuuta’s shoulder.

“You can’t force him to do anything. I know I never talked much with you kids last year, but I know how much Hinata-kun cares about you. If you’re there for him and support him, then you guys will come up with a solution together.”

Yuuta knows that isn’t true. Hinata has only ever pushed him away and assumed all responsibility onto himself, ever since they were kids this has been reality. Yuuta knows it’s his own fault for not being stronger and forcing Hinata into the position of caretaker. It’s been too long that Hinata’s acted on his own that Yuuta won’t be able to stand on equal ground again. They won’t come up with a solution for the problem faced now, because they haven’t yet come up for a solution to Setsubun.

Hinata has stopped waiting for him to catch up.

“Yeah, you’re right, Hakaze-senpai. Aniki and I will figure it out together. We always do.”

Yuuta doesn’t enjoy how bitter the lie tastes as it leaves his lips, but it’s a taste that Hinata has become accustomed to, so if Yuuta wants any chance to reach him then he’ll have to get used to it too.

In the past, he could lie and convince himself of the words that he and Hinata would always work together and would be two-in-one forever. But now, his heart knows it’s false comfort.

Yuuta is on his own.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The distance should mean that Hinata would have a hard time reading Yuuta’s face, but Hinata would be a bad big brother if he didn’t understand Yuuta’s emotions no matter how far apart they were. They could be inches, feet, miles apart, and Hinata would still look out for Yuuta and try his best to make him happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this 7k angst mess

Wind rushed around Hinata; a clean, fresh breeze that made leaves dance on the wind and the tree branches shiver around him. It wasn’t like he never took a long deep breath of the outside air before, but it was so much more exhilarating doing it up where he was sitting

“Aniki, too high!” 

He should be scared of the creaking of the branch he sat on, but this was an old sturdy tree and this was an old sturdy branch. Yuuta had a differing opinion, and as hard as Hinata’s heart beat from the height, he found that his brother’s opinion held as much weight as a flimsy twig Hinata’s foot snapped on the way up the tree.

“It’s fine!” Hinata shouted down. Yuuta looked so small on the ground, but Hinata didn’t miss how he puffed out his cheeks with a frown. “Have some trust in onii-chan, huh? I’m almost to it, then I’ll be down!”

“I don’t care about it anymore! Come back down now! You’re being stupid and you’re gonna get hurt!”

‘It’ would be the multi-colored kite lodged in the highest branches of the tree, wind blowing too weakly to free it but enough to make it rustle and the ribbon tails to float in the breeze. A beautiful day like this, and father’s return home the night before, had Hinata dragging Yuuta out of the house in the morning and grabbing the kite to play with in the park. They took turns running with it, laughing as their sneakers pounded into the grass dried from an unwavering, hot summer sun. It was while Hinata was getting a drink from the water fountain that Yuuta came running up to him with tears running down his red face crying about how he lost control and the kite was stuck in a tree.

They had so little good things that Hinata couldn’t just sit by and let his brother cry when the kite was obtainable. He had never climbed a tree seriously before, the most he did in the past was maybe hang off a few low hanging branches, but they’d been training with Master for a few months now and Hinata had never felt more in control of his body and how to make it move how he wanted. Climbing up was easy for the most part, but the higher he got the trickier it became. Branches became thinner and shakier, and the details of the patchy grass became smeared together to be an even green. Even the fluffy dandelions Hinata liked to blow had become far away white specks.

The distance should mean that Hinata would have a hard time reading Yuuta’s face, but Hinata would be a bad big brother if he didn’t understand Yuuta’s emotions no matter how far apart they were. They could be inches, feet, miles apart, and Hinata would still look out for Yuuta and try his best to make him happy.

The kite sat barely out of Hinata’s reach, his fingers just a bit short of reaching it. He already tried pulling on one of the floating ribbons, but it started to tear off and the kite didn’t move an inch. Other kids would be scared of this height; Hinata knows that heights is a common fear among his classmates, but he didn’t quite feel the same about being so high up in the air. He should, he thinks. He should be feeling scared right now because Yuuta is, and yet his heart beats fast out of excitement not fear, and the sweat covering his body is from his hard work climbing up in the summer heat. 

“Okay. I can do this,” Hinata said to himself as he slowly shifted into a crouch, and rose up listening to the branch creak under him but remain steady. He went onto his tip toes and again reached for the kite, his fingers just teasing the edge of it, and with a huff Hinata used his arm to hold onto a branch and push himself up. He let out a noise of triumph when he managed to grab the edge and he tugged down with all his might.

With the kite in his hands, he looked down to Yuuta with a big grin. “I got it! I’m gonna toss it down, so catch it okay?”

“I don’t care about it, just please come down now!”

Hinata tossed the kite down anyways after waiting for a moment when the wind stilled and Yuuta ran after it to catch it. The trek down was a bit more tricky than going up, since Hinata’s own body was obscuring his vision of his feet, and his hair blowing in the wind would blow into his face. But Master was a good teacher, so Hinata trusted in where his feet were going without having to see them, and after a few minutes of scaling down, he got to the lowest branch and plopped to the ground.

The first thing that greeted him was a punch to the arm followed by Yuuta pulling Hinata into a tight hug. Hinata’s shirt stuck to him with sweat, and it was joined by a new bout of tears from his brother’s eyes.

“You suck! I said don’t do that. I said it was okay we couldn’t get the kite!” Yuuta cried. “I was scared. What if you fell and got hurt? You could’ve seriously hurt yourself.”

Hinata wasn’t about to tell Yuuta that he did scrape up his hands and knees during the climb, so instead he spoke, “I didn’t though. I’m all in one piece, and I didn’t get hurt at all.”

Yuuta pulled away and smacked him on the same arm he punched, “This time! This time you didn’t get hurt! But that’s not always going to be the case. You’re gonna get hurt one day if you keep doing stupid things.”  
“Nothing will hurt Onii-chan~ I’m too strong and capable for that. Besides, you got the kite back and now we can play some more. C’mon, it’s fine, let’s play!” Hinata picked up the kite from the ground at their feet and smiled. This was a job well done- a wholly successful rescue mission.

Yuuta sniffled and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt, and at Hinata’s insistent shoving of the kite into his hands, his lips finally curled up the tiniest bit. “Fine. But you run with it now so it doesn’t blow away.”

“Will do!”

* * *

Harsh lights beating down on him while performing for an audience was something Hinata became acquainted with ever since becoming an idol. Any idol had to learn how to perform in an uncomfortable setting and deal with it, even twist it to their advantage; 2wink lives played on this a lot, doing performances in unique ways that are challenging for other units but easy as pie for him and Yuuta.

This was a new setting alright. It’d taken hours to record a 10 minute interview, from the prep time of giving Hinata a script to say that he knew he wouldn’t follow to the interviewer unable to make up her mind about what side was her good side that morning, that by the time the camera shut off, Hinata’s skin was sweating and if not for the makeup on his face, there’d surely be a sheen. His body wanted to sag like he just did 10 lives back to back, but he made himself stand up straight and walk out of the recording room with slow, easy steps.

Managers and producers hustled around, wanting to get the interview out as soon as possible, and none of them paid mind to Hinata as he exited through a heavy set of sound proof doors into a fluorescently lit hallway. They had no reason for them to care for him at this point though; he went on camera, smiled and laughed like this was all a fun occasion, said his say about the video, then it was over.

It felt weird to speak so openly and honestly when every fiber of his dishonest being told him to lie and cover it up like the executives recommended in the morning. God, how badly he wanted this all to go away, how badly he didn’t want to acknowledge it. Hinata didn’t want anyone to ever know about this. He wished a big meteor would come and destroy everything just so no one would see him like this. Fires burning all around, smoke thick enough where Hinata could become one with it and wisp away.

But life isn’t that easy. 

Denying it would just make a bigger debacle anyways. At least, that’s what he was told.

Hinata’s phone felt impossibly heavy in his pocket, weighed down with notifications that he couldn’t bring himself to glance at while he took his phone out and unlocked it. He went right for his messaging app, ignoring the texts from friends, and clicked on the conversation from earlier in the morning.

[ **Unknown Number** _ 9:07am _ ] Meeting about last night happening in conference room 305.

[ **Me** _9:10am_ ] who is this?

[ **Unknown Number** _ 9:10am _ ] If you don't go then your brother is going to have to deal with all this alone.

[ **Unknown Number** _9:13am_ ] He’ll become a liar just like you. If you tell the truth then you’ll protect him from getting involved in a cover up scandal.

[ **Unknown Number** _ 9:22am _ ] Meeting is happening right now. You're going to miss it. Don't you want to protect him?

Hinata had been ‘sleeping’ in Yuuta’s bed when he got the texts, blanket covering his face and the phone he typed on. He didn’t respond to the last message, not when he was in a rush to sneak out from under Kaoru’s nose and run to the meeting. Whoever this person was, they were right. Yuuta shouldn’t have to deal with this at all; this was all Hinata’s fault, so he needs to be the one to take care of it.

The ‘tell the truth’ message made Hinata pause, but the more he thought about the repercussions of a scandal and how it could tarnish Yuuta’s name, the more it made sense. This whole situation was out of Hinata’s control, and he could get it back if he told the truth.

Still, he felt sick.

His head hurt from smiling for the camera and the obnoxiously bright lights that felt like they were personally trying to scorch Hinata’s irises

His stomach swirling and twisting from nerves.

His skin crawled, and each stranger he passed in the hallway, he swore they were staring at him. Judging him. Deeming him crazy or something.

Hinata needed a chance to catch his breath and steady himself or else he’d do something to justify being called crazy, so he dipped into the nearest stairwell and descended to the ground floor. A breath of fresh air would do him well. Yeah, going out into the sun, feeling a fresh breeze on his face, that’s exactly what Hinata needed right now. And the first step outside he could almost imagine the sun greeted him with a gentle embrace, swore he could feel the instant warmth of heat simmering from the concrete, but he felt something wet hit his face. Multiple drops fell on him, and then his ears finally heard the pattering of rain hitting the ground and making puddles.

There was no sunshine here, only dark clouds overhead and rain pouring down. 

* * *

After the first interview hit the media, the Ensemble Square Executives scheduled more events for Hinata to speak at, saying that this was a trending topic and all eyes were on him now. He let himself get dragged around, put into crisp outfits that speak a formality that isn’t 2wink’s brand, and told to smile less because it’s creeping people out.

Whenever dad said that, Hinata would have to comfort Yuuta and tell him they aren’t monsters, but when Hinata looks next to him now, Yuuta is not there.

Well, whatever. Hinata’s plan is working out; 2wink is trending and people are sure to become fans and stick around once this video incident blows over. There will be a big crowd to perform too, and people will wave lightsticks while dancing around to the up-beat tempos of their music. It will be okay soon.

Hinata is in between interviews right now- the next one not happening for a few hours- when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He turned off notifications for all his social media, the constant buzzing made his skin feel like it was going to crawl off his body, and even turned off the text notifications from his friends because their concern made him feel sick in the same way he felt at the strangers staring at him. He ignores the irony of how much he craved attention growing up and now that he’s in his 15 minutes of fame, all he wants is to disappear.

Eyes on him, everyone knowing the truth.  _ Everyone _ everyone, not just Yumenosaki students. It’s all Hinata can do just to stare at the white tiled floor beneath his black sneakers just to be sure that it’s still there and that the floor isn’t falling out beneath him. When did breathing get harder? Each breath came quicker and quicker, yet Hinata didn’t feel any oxygen reaching his lungs. What’s going on? His skin is crawling again, and Hinata isn’t sure there’s blood under his flesh because it feels like bugs squirming around. 

He stumbles and places a hand against the wall, once again looking at the ground to make sure it’s still there. He sees it. Pristine white tiles reflecting the overhead lights. Black shoes contrasting against it. It looks far away now. It’s blurry. 

Hinata can’t breathe.

Hinata can’t do anything.

Hinata should just go to the fire escape and climb up and-

His phone vibrates again.

He pulls it out with a shaking hand.

[ **Unknown Number** _1:08pm_ ] You’re welcome. If you keep listening to me then I'll make sure this whole thing works out in your favor. It's you against the world.

[ **Unknown Number** _1:15pm_ ] Stay calm. The last thing people want to see is some kid freaking out. Just follow my instructions

Hinata didn’t know how this was, but he felt like a sailor looking upon a lighthouse’s beam piercing through the fog. He was so confused. He needed anything to listen to right now; anything to speak over this dark void occupying his head.

[ **Me** _1:15pm_ ] What do i do?

Footsteps echoed through the hallway, approaching from behind. Hinata held his breath and pushed his phone into his chest, holding it close like a lifeline. His knuckles were white, hands still shaking, and he’s never seen his skin look so pale before, and his blood felt like ice as it pumped leisurely through him- but at least now his breathing came easier. Steady, autonomous inhales and exhales.

The messages from this unknown number relieved his anxiety; this person, whoever they were, seemed to know what they were talking about. His gut may be twisting with unease, unsure of the mysterious messages, but Hinata grasped onto the guidance, the hope in them.

“Hina-chan!”

Hinata squeezes his phone tighter then turns around.

“Ah, it’s Sora-kun! Hello.”

Sora’s inviting smile falters when Hinata faces him, and Hinata can feel whatever kind greeting he had in store die on his parted lips. 

_ It’s because he sees right through you. You’re doing something bad. You’re a terrible person- a terrible brother. He knows. He’s judging you _ .

A finger pokes Hinata’s cheek making him flinch back and meet Sora’s narrowed eyes. “Hina-chan looks tired, have you been sleeping enough? People need their sleep or they can’t function well.”

Hinata’s smile feels heavy on his face, so he squints his eyes to make it feel more real. “Huh~? Of course I’ve been sleeping enough! Sora-kun doesn’t need to worry about me.”

“Hina-chan is my best friend! It’s Sora’s job to look out for you.” 

He doesn’t know why, but Sora’s words make something inside of Hinata tremble. He feels how tight his throat is when he tries to swallow, and he fears that he’ll lose his breath again. His jaw drops in an attempt to breathe in more air, but remembering that Sora’s standing right there has Hinata trying to twist his lips into a grin.

“You don’t need to do that. I’m fine- really!” Hinata glances at the time on his phone and the time tells him it’s still hours until the next interview. Well, Sora doesn’t know that. “I have to go now or I’ll be late.” 

Hinata takes a step forward, but Sora slides in front of him and blocks the hallway. “Please wait a second. Hina-chan, no ones heard from you. They’re worried- Sora’s worried too.”

“Sora-kun, I really need to go.” Hinata crosses his arms, tapping his finger on his arms in a way he hopes conveys he’s in a rush. “I’m fine, see? You’ve checked up on me. I’m just busy, that’s all.”

Sora doesn’t move, and instead he mirrors Hinata and crosses his arms across his chest too. Hinata feels the silence weigh down on them with the same ominous air that blows about before a storm; it’s crushing, suffocating, and makes Hinata’s breaths come unevenly again, all while Sora remains unfazed. He stands strong, shoulders squared to Hinata’s slouched ones and his face is stern, pursed lips and furrowed brows observing Hinata.

The color Hinata has right now must be awful. A canvas of Hinata’s monster flesh to be used as a fresco plastered from smiles stretched thin and falsified laughter, and coated with streaks of a liar’s loneliness. Would these colors be bright and shining because they were so obnoxious and visible? Or were they as dark as the night because he’d always just be the backdrop for other people to shine off of? Was there even a color to Hinata’s countless perjuries?

Despite how much Hinata’s kept people at an emotional distance, he knows Sora is his closest friend; Sora is someone that is able to get a read on Hinata. He thinks it’s something Sora may be good at because it’s who he is, but Hinata can’t deny that along the way that his and Sora’s friendship became something deeper. Aquarium visits, arcade outings, running around school together all became things that Hinata treasured. 

But as the sky is blue, Hinata is someone who can’t have lasting friendships.

Each passing second makes the silence grow heavier and it only becomes harder to find the words to break the silence. Hinata’s heart beats to an off-key rhythm as Sora stares him down, and without thinking, Hinata’s fingers have started to scratch at his arms. Skin crawling again, itchy, uncomfortable, and he hates Sora’s eyes on him.

He doesn’t want to be here. He can’t look Sora in the eyes. Just like before, Hinata is at a standstill and fumbling to lie in the face of his best friend.  _ Hina-chan _ ,  _ are you happy? _ The answer was no. Sora’s sky blue eyes are asking him that question again, and Hinata doesn’t have an answer, again.

So, he turns around, tearing himself away from Sora in more ways than one, and he walks. And succeeding where Orpheus had failed, Hinata does not turn around. Even as he hears Sora call his name. Even as he hears Sora’s voice break as he calls it a second time. Even as he can hear the unstifled sob that echoes in the hallway.

Hinata does not look back, because he is alone.

* * *

The clothes they put Hinata in are stuffy and too formal for his taste, but he understands that he must look well-dressed when he’s on camera. Looking put together means that he isn’t the same boy on the rooftop from before, it means he’s recovered and adjusted, and the perfect complacent idol.

It also helps to hide how red and irritated his skin has become. 

It’s been a few days since his confrontation with Sora and ever since then he hasn’t been able to stop scratching at his skin. He’s never done this before, never had a nervous tick like that, but Hinata’s also never felt so uncomfortable in his own skin that it itches with phantom bugs skittering all over him. 

If Yuuta saw him like this, he’d be upset. He would scold Hinata all while rubbing ointment on his arms bandaging him up. 

But Yuuta has been avoiding Hinata. Hinata thought it was the other way around, figured he himself was the one avoiding since he kept his schedule busy with solo events that didn’t require Yuuta. Then a few nights ago, Hinata was sitting on a bench in the hallway waiting for his next meeting, when Yuuta turned the corner. Their eyes met, and Hinata isn’t sure what communication passed between them, even though he should know because they are two-in-one and a brother should know what his other is thinking, but he knows it wasn’t what Yuuta wanted; his brother turned right back around and left.

For a moment after he left, with Yuuta’s names on his lips, Hinata thinks that Yuuta looked at him the same way that their father did when he called them monsters. The knee-jerk denial didn’t sit right in Hinata’s stomach, and he resigns himself to the fact that maybe he is a monster if Yuuta thinks so.

His phone vibrates, and Hinata’s hands are on it and unlocking it faster than he can take his next breath. 

All his social media notifications are still turned off, as well as most messaging apps- well, everything was turned off except for the notifications from Yuuta- because he would never be able to face himself if Yuuta was in an emergency and he wasn’t there- and from the unknown number.

He gave up trying to find out this person’s identity, and cared less about who it was since their advice was solid and guided Hinata through a majority of his interviews. He’s been given ideas he would have never thought of and it makes him feel less like an unknowledgeable kid and more like someone who knows their stuff; someone in control. Hinata is alone through all of this, but he has a helping hand. Not a guide or a mentor like Rei, but someone who treated Hinata like an equal.

The notification he received is not from the unknown caller though, nor is it from Yuuta, but as Hinata reads it, he cares less about how the message got through his blocking.

[ **Ibara Saegusa** _3:52pm_ ] We need to discuss your actions from the past few days. Meet me ASAP. I’ve cancelled your meetings for the rest of the day.

Hinata stares at the message. 

He reads it again and again, until he’s certain he can recite it word for word. Not sure why he does that, as it only makes the letters burn themselves behind his eyes. And he isn’t sure why the message makes him want to run like he’s been caught doing something bad- he hasn’t done anything bad! He’s only been telling the truth, and some extra words from his unknown helper, but Hinata’s been honest which is a miracle in of itself.

The feeling of guilt slogs around in Hinata like a bucket overfilled and sploshing around, and Hinata turns his phone off. He puts it in his pocket. 

He’ll find some other way to keep himself busy- he can practice choreography for all the new lives 2wink will be scheduled to do, he can work on his acrobatics and try to master that one new move he’s been working on lately, or he could even go to the pool and take a relaxing dip into the water to ease away his stress. Anything would be better than meeting with Ibara, because that means facing this guilt and Hinata doesn’t know why he’s guilty.

Years of experience in the art of running away has prepared Hinata well for dodging such stressful situations. He was thankful for this burst of stress, really. Days of unrest and neglecting to even attempt returning to his bed at night left Hinata’s body heavy and clumsy, tripping over his own feet and leaning against walls to catch his breath. There were no chatising or scolding words spoken to him by the producers of the interviews when Hinata greeted them with dark purple bags under his eyes, only being pushed into the hands of makeup artists that applied concealer with tight lips in concentration. It didn’t upset Hinata though, because he’d get that itchy guilty feeling from a stranger’s concern.

The rest of the day involves Hinata sneaking around the Ensemble Square building and pointedly avoiding the floors for Cosmic Productions, certain that if he so much as stepped an inch in them that Ibara would be in front of him in an instant.

Yet, it’s when he’s slinking around the stairwell- where he went because running up the stairs is a good workout and sliding down the railings are just as fun- that someone finds him. When the door to the eighth floor opened and in stepped Rei, Hinata’s feet felt stuck to the ground and he paused in his ascent up the steps.

It must still be daylight because Rei’s eyes are heavy and his shoulders slouched, but when he sees Hinata he’s frozen just the same; eyebrows raising and mouth dropping open with a surprised ‘Hinata-kun’, then closing again to press his lips into a thin line.

“Excuse me, Sakuma-senpai.” The words leave Hinata’s throat before he realizes that his feet have started walking up the stairs again, attempting to slide past Rei.

Hinata expects Rei to stop him, grab his scratched up arm, step in front of him like Sora had, but what he doesn’t expect is for Rei to step aside. It must be some sort of reverse psychology, because the action makes Hinata’s foot pause on the next step and his mind goes blank on all his scripted denials he was ready to say.

Rei ignored Hinata’s silence, opening his mouth to fill the air before it became still too long to be broken. “Hinata-kun. My sweet child, I’ve been looking all over for you. Wanko is so grouchy you’ve been missing our club time.”

“Eh?” Hinata’s taken aback. Shouldn’t the follow-up to that have been ‘I’ve been looking for you because you’re being a troublesome child doing bad things’? “Ah, well. I’ve been busy! Oogami-senpai can learn to live on his own, can’t he? He shouldn’t be so dependent on his underclassmen.”

Rei lets the stairwell door close behind him and leans against it with a sigh. “He barks and whines about the absence of his two favorite underclassmen. Hinata-kun is busy, Yuuta-kun is busy. When did my two children get to be as busy as me?”

“Yuuta-kun isn’t showing up to club?” Hinata frowns. He’s been busy, yeah, but there have been times he could have gone to club practice but didn’t so that Yuuta could go, since he clearly didn’t want to be in the same room as Hinata.

“No, not ever for a week or so now.” Rei had been looking at the ground, but his head lifts and red eyes meet Hinata’s and in an instant the urge to run returns. “Are you two fighting? Always bickering and arguing, but this seems much more serious than usual- have you talked to or seen Yuuta-kun lately?”

Hinata talks without thinking; the words are something he would never dare to say to Rei under any circumstance. It must be because he’s become a monster recently, but hasn’t he always been a monster? He doesn’t know how long he’s been like this, and maybe it’s time to start thinking he’s always been capable of this buried deep down.

“Stop worrying about Yuuta-kun and I. Don’t you have your own brother to take care of? Or does he still refuse to be in the same room as you?” Hinata ignores the hypocrisy of his words, something burning hot in his chest coaxing him to spit more fire. “It’s super funny that you think you have any place offering advice on this when Yuuta-kun and I are completely fine and Ritsu-senpai wants you dead.”

The words are like daggers, and when Hinata throws them at Rei, he looks back at the ground again and raises a hand to grab the end of his hair- a nervous habit Hinata’s seen him do whenever Undead had a particularly big event coming up. To see him do it now, when Undead’s been relaxed recently, is what makes the guilt fester in Hinata and tear his gaze away from Rei so he can’t see it. And some awful part of Hinata feels  _ satisfied _ , like he finally has a reason to justify why he feels so guilty, but it doesn’t get any lighter on Hinata’s shoulders. It still wraps around and encases him like concrete, like a prison.

Hinata can’t find the words to remedy this situation, but the monster can, so as Hinata resumes walking up the stairs, his mouth opens and out spills things he doesn’t want to say. “Well, might as well kick me out of Band Club since I’m such a troublesome child. Be a father and implement some punishment or scolding or something. That’s what fathers should do. Not that I’d know. Y’know, you didn’t really have much competition in terms of that role and still you’re messing up. Whatever. Bye.”

He takes the steps faster and faster, working back up to the pace from before and going even faster than that. He moves so fast around the corners that his ankles ache from the fast movement, but he keeps going to feel his thighs and calves burning. The further away from Rei, the less damage he can do and the better everything is.

What an awful child he is.

What a terrible person he is.

He’s ruined anything good he’s had with three of the closest people to him in the span of a week and everything is out of control. He rolls up his sleeves and digs his nails into his skin just to try and calm down, but it’s too late because he can’t fix any of this. 

By the time his legs start to shake and Hinata’s unable to lift them up anymore steps, he’s at the 18th floor. He’s so hung up on the fact that he sprinted up ten flights of stairs and how close he feels to keeling over that he fails to recognize the CosPro icon as he opens the door. His feet are on autopilot, pained steps taking him closer to where he knows the water fountain is because his parched throat is screaming for water. But he doesn’t make it.

As he passes by a door that opens suddenly and Hinata is dragged inside, unable to so much as try to run away as his legs are on the verge of giving out. The room is dark, the only light being what’s escaping past the tightly closed blinds, and Hinata barely makes out the shape of a chair as he’s shoved into it.

The sudden movements make his head swim and he squeezes his eyes shut to reorient himself. At least his legs get a rest, even though his muscles still tremble from exertion. When he opens his eyes, he finds that he’s in some sort of office; it’s too small to work as a room to hold meetings, and the giant desk takes up a large amount of space, yet it’s the person sitting on top of it that is dominating the room.

Ibara sat with crossed legs and crossed arms, eyes narrowed and peering at Hinata behind his glasses like a disappointed school teacher, all too fitting, since Hinata was a bad child running amok. It almost felt comfortable sitting here because Hinata’s been scolded by teachers all his life and he knows what to expect, but this is not a teacher. This is Ibara. Unit member of Adam and Eden, the CosPro representative, hell, the president of CosPro, and a ring leader of Ensemble Square.

Hinata should be terrified. He should have his tail between his legs, rolled over on his back with his stomach exposed and begging to be spared. Yet, his heartbeat was slowing down, recovering from his sprints, his mind blank as a cloudless sky, and honestly what did he have to be nervous for anymore. Hinata’s basically done the job of getting rid of anything good in his life, so if he tried to invoke any sort of leverage then it wouldn’t matter. Hinata leaned back in his chair, his head dipping down and he watched his legs calm from their trembles.

“Hinata-kun.” 

“Saegusa-senpai.”

“Do you want the good news or bad news first?”

Hinata shrugged. 

Ibara crosses and recrosses his legs. “Well, lucky you. 2wink is decidedly  _ not _ kicked out of Cosmic Productions. You better thank whatever god you pray for that you lot still have a place in this agency, despite my many requests otherwise.”

Hinata looks up and squints his eyes. “2wink hasn’t done anything wrong, why would we have been kicked out?”

“Because their leader is talking a whole lot of shit for the media and on the verge of bringing a full blown scandal to Ensemble Square. Did you think you can just do and say whatever?” Ibara’s voice is cold, but Hinata feels a buried rage that flares in his harsh words.

“What’s the bad news then?” Hinata’s arm feels wet- probably sweat.

Ibara’s eyes narrow and he uncrosses his arms and Hinata feels a pain in his wrist as Ibara grabs it. Hinata then sees the blood on his arm, and his fingers. He says a small ‘oh’ and Ibara drops his hand and reaches across the desk to grab a box of tissues, pulling one out and handing it to Hinata.

Hinata dabs his arm and Ibara continues, “2wink will no longer be advisors to the CosPro representative. That is to say, I am firing you from that position.”

Hinata blinks. He’s blown it. He ruined everything and chained Yuuta down to his dirty image, and now they’ll be two in one but together in hell.

“Wait, Saegusa-senpai. It’s all my fault, Yuuta-kun didn’t do anything!” He sits up in his chair, tries to push himself out of it but his body is akin to a load of bricks and he can’t pull himself forward. 

“I maybe would’ve given you a chance if you didn’t spend hours mucking about and avoiding the consequences of your actions. You’ve lost the right to beg for forgiveness.” Ibara stands up from the desk and tries walking to the door.

Tries because Hinata kicked his chair aside and though his legs have given out, he still reaches out and grabs Ibara’s ankles. The action shocks himself as much as it does Ibara, whose widened eyes are quickly replaced with a scowl, and Hinata has to wrap his arms around the ankle as he tries to take a step.

“Yuuta-kun didn’t do anything! Don’t take this away from him! These were my actions!”

“You’re being pathetic. Let go!” Ibara uses his other foot to push Hinata’s face away but Hinata can’t let go- he can’t ruin this one last thing. He’s okay with being fired, he deserves that, but Yuuta is innocent and he can’t be treated like this.

Even as Ibara’s other foot presses down on Hinata’s arms and and tries to push him away, he begs and begs for Yuuta to stay as an advisor. Hinata knows all the rumors surrounding Ibara but he doesn’t  _ care _ . He  _ needs _ this for Yuuta. 

“Fine! Christ.” Ibara wrestles his leg fre from Hinata’s slackened grasp and storms to the door. “Only because Yuuta is decent at what he does, so don’t ever think to go begging and crying to me ever again.” His hand grips the doorknob and he glances back. “And clean yourself up before you leave. You look fucking awful. Wouldn’t hurt to wear makeup outside of your televised appearances.”

He leaves, the door slamming shut behind him and Hinata let’s his head continue to rest on the floor. He’s almost content to fall asleep, the carpet is thin and scratchy on his face yet with how dark the room is it’s welcoming Hinata’s eyes to close shut. 

From head to toe, Hinata is worn out. A toy used and beaten over again and again, but a toy can keep going despite all the hardships- a toy never gives up, and is only retired when the owner throws it away. Hinata isn’t a toy though, because his arm has droplets of blood scattering across raw skin, his legs ache and stretching them out leaves Hinata wincing, and most of all his head throbs from his forehead and sends an ache through the rest of his head. He’s a wounded animal if anything. Lost his pack and forced to lick his wounds all alone.

Still, sleep has come to him so rarely lately, what with the general stress of having to be everywhere at once, and also it being his anonymous helper’s prime time of sending messages of guidance, so Hinata thinks it’s okay if he dozes off on the floor of this office.

Just as his breathing slows and he can feel his mind wandering into nothing, he hears the door open and light from the hallway spill in. When he opens his eyes, he’s greeted with black heels and when he follows them up there’s an adult woman stepping through the doorway. She’s looking through her purse, oblivious to Hinata curled up on the floor, until she shuts the door and looks up.

“Oh my!” She drops her purse and hustles to Hinata, kneeling beside him. “Ah, Hinata-kun? You’re all scratched up, oh let’s get you some bandaids.”

Hinata doesn’t have much energy to protest and let’s the woman help him back into the chair and start wiping away the blood on his arms. She has to pull her orange hair back into a ponytail since it kept dropping in front of her face, and she’s a bit rough when she scrubs at Hinata’s skin and misses when she puts on the bandaids, but Hinata knows she must be coming from a kind place. He must have looked pathetic for a stranger to drop everything and help him.

“Thank you, miss. I’m fine now, sorry to bother you.” The politeness is automatic off his lips because it’s his most rehearsed script.

She finishes with Hinata’s arms and turns to look at his face. “Hm? You’re not getting much sleep are you, honey?”

Hinata thinks there’s a certain level of beauty to her, dressed in the same formal clothes as the producers and the lanyard around her neck speaks to her having some sort of executive position. And now that she’s closer, he sees that her eyebrows don’t match her hair and it makes Hinata wonder if it must cost that much more for a bigwig to pay that.

When Hinata doesn’t respond, the woman ruffles his hair, an action that squeezes Hinata’s heart and makes him lose his breath. “Well, between you and me, I have some trouble too.” She grabs her purse off the ground and ruffles through it, then pulls out a rattling bottle. “I take these to help me fall asleep, but you look you could use them more than me.” 

She opens Hinata’s hand and places the bottle in it, and covers her hands around Hinata’s to close around it.

“Hinata-kun.” Out of all the people saying his name lately, it sounds the coldest from her lips. “You should take this so you can sleep. It’d be hard to keep going to all those repetitive interviews if you didn’t sleep right. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you right now, but these,” her fingers squeeze tighter around Hinata’s and the bottle, “will make it easier. It’s better to be asleep, right?”

Hinata thinks that being asleep would be nice. 

He thinks that he’s made a lot of mistakes and the woman is right- it  _ is _ hard right now. The monster in him only seems to want to come out if it’s to ruin everything and thrash around like a wild animal, and now Hinata is left to fumble around the broken pieces of himself. He thinks that he should be better, and that everything he’s done is so selfishly justified in his own mind like how a father justifies leaving his kids to be independent before even hitting the double digits of their age. He thinks that maybe everything is irreparably messed up and it’s a fool's errand to muster up the strength to pity himself while everything burns to ash.

“Ah, well. I have to go to a meeting! Hinata-kun, take care.” 

She leaves and behind her the door shuts with a soft clack. Hinata slides a hand into his pocket and for the first time in days, his fingers find habit in fiddling with the bottle of pills there rather than scratching across his skin.

He doesn’t really care what’s worse.

He can’t think of anyone else who would really care either. Yuuta hates him, Sora hates him, Rei hates him. Ibara hates a lot of people, but it’s no less comforting to know that Hinata made it onto that extensive shit-list.

There’s renewed strength in his body and he’s able to stand up and walk through the aches that drum through his legs. As he steps through the door and makes his way to the elevator to take him to the dorms, he no longer cares who sees him, because he knows no one would dare approach such a monster.

It’s funny, to have believed before that this monster was a separate part of himself and the sole reason for everything wrong Hinata has done. It’s funny to think that because the monster along was Hinata himself. He’s just some terrible, cursed creature that should have never been allowed to roam this Earth.

_ But hey _ , he thinks to himself as he smiles to his fellow guests of the elevator,  _ even a monster needs to sleep. _

_ And a monster like myself will need the longest of slumbers after such a destructive rampage _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "this made me so sad/this ruined my life/i hate you" please direct all complaints to the comment section here or [on twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA)


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